One Year on Facebook

About a year ago I posted about my new obsession, Facebook. So a slightly belated Happy Facebook anniversary to me.

I do spend way too much time on Facebook. I don’t participate in any of the games (Mafia Wars, Farmville, etc), although my step-mother and I always have a game of Scrabble going which is a lot of fun. But that’s just between the two of us, no prizes or penalties for not watering your plants, or however the other ones work. I log in first thing in the morning, before bed, and usually several times throughout the day, just because I can. I do post a status occasionally, but more often I like to read and comment on other people’s status updates.

But the very best part of Facebook is the friends it’s brought me in touch with. Some of you, my readers, are now my Facebook friends, and it’s been awesome to get to know you in another way (if you’re not already my “friend”, let me know in a comment!). As cool as that is, the most rewarding component is the old friends I’ve been able to bring back into my life.

This past weekend we hosted a get-together at our house for one of my Facebook friends – someone I knew in high school, her husband and their 4 youngest children. Yes, me, the reluctant host, tripled the number of people in my house voluntarily! They came over to watch the Patriots pound the Titans (in the snow! Snow in October!?!?) and we ate and drank and made merry while the younger kids played and it was completely natural and wonderful, despite not seeing each other or even being in touch much since high school! An added bonus is that Krystal and her youngest daughter hit it off immediately.

People can sneer at social media if they want, but when it brings great people into, or back into, your life, I’ll keep using it.

Woe is work, woe is blogging, woe is me

Hey, thanks for stopping by! Doesn’t my post title sound so welcoming and happy? Makes you want to dig right in and read, huh?

Let’s take it from the top, shall we?

Work. Hey, I’m working, and that’s a good thing. I’ve been with my company for over 13 years and have done lots of different things. I enjoy a livable wage, excellent benefits and an extremely flexible (and mostly autonomous) working environment. Those things are precious to me! So why am I woeing about it? Well, I made the mistake of checking my work email on Saturday. My boss had sent out something to me and a few other people regarding a topic that he hadn’t had a chance to weigh in on the day before. In the email, I felt quite chastised, somewhat unfairly so. He also left a certain decision up to a coworker of mine, one who is nearly 20 years younger than me, and who I helped train when she was hired three years ago. I’m the oldest person on my team – a lot older than some and only a few years older than others, and mostly I’m OK with that. What I’m not OK with is being seen as the weakest member of the team, and that’s how I felt. I’m not ambitious at this point in my career – my out-of-work life takes a lot of my energy and time, and I’m happy to do my work for 40-45 hours a week, but that’s it. I need my non-work time for, non-work! But I feel odd about being surpassed. I like and respect this particular coworker a lot. She’s also young and single with plenty of time and energy to dive into work….sorta where I was at her age. If I still felt as valued as before I might not mind so much. But I don’t feel as valued and I do mind. And I don’t know what to do about it.

Blogging. I still read all your blogs (and more!), but I haven’t been blogging much myself. It’s not that I don’t have things going on that I could write about (whale watching! new dogs! new roof!) but I feel less…….inspired. Facebook has been meeting my need to chronicle and connect with much less actual effort on my part. Let’s be honest – the fun part of blogging is reading comments, and when people don’t comment it’s more like writing a private journal, which doesn’t really need to be done in public. So I’m not sure how much longer I’ll keep this. Or maybe I’ll start a new one. I don’t know yet. How have you all handled lulls in your blogging muscle?

Me. Well, believe it or not,, aside from what I said above, I don’t feel all that woeful! Life is pretty OK right now, and while I’m not happy that fall and winter are here/on their way, things are good. We have some exciting things to look forward to as a family in the next few weeks and months.

How are things with you?

Finding my Funny

I love to read funny stuff. I love to laugh, whether with friends, with a movie, a book or a blog. And I think I’m pretty funny, though usually in a dry or sarcastic way. Subtle even. (Is there some missive along the lines of “If you have to tell people you’re funny then you aren’t?” If not, there should be!)

But it occurs to me that most readers of this blog probably don’t see the funny side of me. My blog tends to be a place of introspection. And while I often am in “telling a story” mode, and sometimes inject a funny (to me) thought or two, my sense of humor doesn’t really come out here.

I am wondering why that is?

At work we use an instant message application quite frequently. On any given day I have 4-14 chat windows going with various co-workers. The conversations in them range from stricly utilitarian asking and answering simple (or complex) questions, to “water cooler” type conversations about a TV show, the weather, the latest kid antics, work politics, etc. In these I am definitely very funny! Just ask my co-workers! Why am I funny there, and not here? I think it’s because of the more conversational nature of chat, versus the one-way experience I have here. I’m not a “popular” blog, and even though I know I have more readers than a casual reader just stopping by might guess based on the number of comments I get, it’s still mostly me just typing into the ether. I think I need the banter. Someone says something that sends my mind in a direction and it brings out my dry wit (she says so modestly). I can’t seem to play off myself in the same way.

I wonder if there is a place to learn to do that? I’d like to find my funny here on my blog.

Mocking Me…

I feel like my blog is mocking me.

It’s saying, “Ha ha, here I am and you have nothing to say and you can’t do anything about it!”

Ouch.

I have a lot to say.

I have nothing to say.

I’m not sure which of those is true….can it be both?

Yesterday we celebrated 3 years as a family of three – it was the third anniversary of meeting Belle in China. Krystal made her a very cute card, saying she was glad she was a member of our family, which is contrary to what she so often actually says out loud. Belle, for her part, was as excited as if it were her birthday all day.

I just cancelled the latest appointment with our counselor that I have decided I not only have no connection to, but I’m not sure I even like. I don’t think she’s doing anything special, certainly nothing different, or more, or better than I’ve read in every parenting book or article I’ve ever picked up. Not worth our time. I may try to find someone else. I may not.

Today after school Krystal went to a friend’s house for the afternoon and had dinner there. She came home complaining that she is embarrassed that she likes the TV shows “Arthur” and “Cyberchase” while her friends all watch “iCarly” and “Hannah Montana”, which I don’t allow. My rule is, the characters in the show have to be my kids’ age or younger (with some exceptions). I suggested she tell her friends her mom won’t let her watch them, and she said they then exclaim what a mean mom she has. Oh well.

We saw the new Disney/Pixar movie “Up” last weekend. I have to put it in my own personal Top 5 movies of all time. It was that good. See it. I don’t care if you have kids, or don’t have kids, or your kids are grown. It is a must-see.

And that concludes my randomness for now. My blog may go back to mocking me now. Unless I come back soon with more. We shall see!

Winner! And Thanks all around

I never win anything.

But a few weeks ago Jennifer was running a contest and…….. I won! (And all I had to do was leave a comment on her post! It couldn’t have been easier! No skill involved!)

She featured jewelry designed and made by Lisa Leonard, and two winners won a gift certificate. You really need to check out her stuff. Really.

I don’t typically spend a lot of money on jewelry, so winning a prize where I could buy some originally created jewelery, customized for me, was a dream come true. I perused Lisa’s site every day for almost 2 weeks, trying to decide what to order. I really couldn’t decide. Go ahead – think about which one you would order. Tough, huh?

Anyway, I finally decided (sort of – more on that in a minute), and my personal creation came today.

So beautifully packaged, with a simple raffia bow and tag:

Taking off the lid to find a Lisa Leonard card:

Took the card off to see which design Lisa had chosen (I couldn’t decide between two, and basically had her pick one for me). Here it is:

It consists of two silver open circles, with my kids’ names stamped, one name on each circle, with a pearl accent. I cannot even tell you how much I love this! My photos don’t do it justice. Even the gorgeous photos on Lisa’s site don’t come close to matching how beautiful, how touching, my very own necklace is in real life. Maybe I feel it is so beautiful because it features the names of my own children. Probably this has a lot to do with it. So think how beautiful you will think it is with your children’s names (or initials).

Thank you Jennifer for running the contest. Thank you Random.org for picking the number associated with my comment. But most of all, thank you Lisa, for this beautiful, one-of-a-kind, necklace that I will wear and cherish forever.

Tweet! Tweet!

OK, I jumped on the Twitter bandwagon today.

I’m not sure why, except that everywhere I turn I’m reading or hearing about people on it. So I set up an account and am looking for interesting people and organizations to follow. And drawing blanks on the specifics of all the Twitter-ific stuff I keep hearing about. I’m following a whopping 9 people at the moment.

I don’t think I plan to tweet much myself, but I’ll use it to follow others. Unless a bunch of you are big tweeters and I should follow you, and you’d like to follow me. But that’s sort of what I see Facebook being for. Sort of.

Do you follow anyone interesting you think I ought to follow? Share yourself, or your favorite Twitter users, in the comments – I’m anxious to get some entertainment out of this!

Anyway, I’m on board!

Internet Silence

When I first got on the Internet at home, it was through a dial-up connection. I think my modem was a whopping 28.8, which at the time was screaming fast. How barbaric. I lived in a condo that didn’t have cable or DSL availability so a lot of my Internet work was done, well, at work.

Then, whooooooosh! I became a parent, got married and moved to a place with cable Internet. Before I became a parent I had oodles of free time and spent a good deal of it reading. I became a mom 5 months before I got married, so I was dealing with a lot of change at once. Dealing with new  parenthood and new wifedom was not easy, though I acclimated much faster to the parenting than the wifing. Hence the reason I am single now. Anyway! When Krystal was little I had absolutely no free time when she was awake and the only time I was online was during working hours (when she was not around).  When she was sleeping I was on wife duty, which primarily meant watching TV with the wusband.

Now Krystal is 8 and doesn’t rely on me as much for entertainment. Even Belle is older than Krystal was when I became single again, and has always been pretty good at entertaining herself. Generally speaking, if we are home and they are watching TV or playing, I am either on the computer (which is in the same room as the TV), or making dinner.

When we get home from an outing, one of the first things I do is hop on the computer.

After putting the girls to bed, even if I am going to watch TV for the evening, I get on the computer first (and sometimes during).

I think I might be a little addicted to the Internet.

I am going to set a date, soon, to be Internet Free for Me. Instead of going online for that day, I will do all the things around the house that I don’t have time to do because every free moment is spent on the Internet. Some of those things are:

• Gather and organize outgrown kids’ clothes for sale or donation
• Write Belle’s Lifebook
• Work on training Tessie (“come” and “stay” are big ones)
• Utilize some of the principles in “It’s All Too Much” to cull out the extraneous crap in our house

The list goes on and on. But I must admit to you, my Internet friends, that going a day without being online sounds a little scary. It shouldn’t. But it does. The sooner, the better, right? Maybe this Sunday.

I’ll let you know on Monday how it went. If it went.

If You Only Knew….

Amber, over at Mommy Mania, has given me an award!

I’m truly thrilled to get it, but as with so much in life, I feel like an impostor in accepting it. But, like so much else in life, I’ll take it when I can get it! If you only knew!

So, here’s what you do:

1. Admit that ONE thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you’ve written it down, you are NO LONGER allowed to feel bad. It’s over with, it’s in the past. Remember, you’re a good mom!
2. To remind yourself that you ARE a good mom, list SEVEN things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself of EVERY DAY that you rock!
3. Send this to FIVE other Moms of the Year that deserve forgiveness and a reminder that they, too, are the best moms they can be!!! Remember to send them a note to let them know you’ve selected them, and add a link to the person who nominated you!

Here are my answers:

1. I HATE that I feel angry so much of the time (I have a post half-written on this). My kids are, generally, sweet, kind, funny, lovely people. Yet they push my buttons and my patience is often in such short supply. I dread the thought that the memories they will have of me are being tainted. And it’s all my own fault.
2. Seven things? I’m not sure I can think of seven things! OK, 1) My kids often say I am “the best mom ever”, usually in response to my saying yes to a request, but hey, I’ll take it. 2) Belle in particular loves to tell me she loves me. Often. (16 times a day? A minute?) 3) The kids love to make things with me: dinner, cookies, most anything. 4) When I announce an outing I am the star of the day. 5) My kids have a fantastic sense of humor. 6) My kids love books, love learning and love to ask questions. 7)Krystal in particular is a thoughtful friend. I think I am raising them with good values, but the proof is in the pudding, and this particular pudding takes a long time to set.
3. I’ll mention 5 moms I happen to read, but they’ll have to stumble upon themselves here. Janet, Starstruk (her kids are grown, but you never stop being a mom), Marcia, Snickollet and Jen.

Where is Everybody?

Where is everybody? Including me, I should add.

I have about 25 blogs in my reader – some of them are on the blogroll, but some are newer that I just haven’t added yet (sorry – I will, I promise!). But it seems most of the blogs I read have been mysteriously quiet these last few weeks. I feel like I’ve gone quiet lately too – after posting everyday in November for NaBloPoMo, and being so inspired that I posted much more than I exected in December, January is feeling a little barren for me, and apparently for everyone else.

Some things to come back to:

• My girls’ birthday party is today. Actually, I’m having some stress about whether it will actually happen, due to the fact I booked it online in October and that’s the last contact I’ve had with them. Since we have 22 kids coming I’m starting to really stress about it. I’ll find out, one way or the other, in a few hours!
• I had a post in draft form about  my ex, and he is here this weekend (at Krystal’s request) for the party. The four of us had dinner last night, at his suggestion. And he’s going to do some work on my house today. The post will have to be reworked, or possibly abandoned, after this weekend. (Don’t worry, he’s still an ex – that’s not the direction I’m going here!)
• Belle – so  much to say about her. I don’t post much about it here because I don’t know how to do it and still feel good about it. But I really should – maybe writing about it will help, and possibly one or more of you have ideas.
• Rumor has it: This Tuesday (Feb 3) my company will be issuing another round of layoffs (rumors in the past have been astonishingly accurate, so I’m reporting this as fact, pretty much). While I obviously am not wishing to be one of them, a tiny piece of me sees it as a possible push to make a positive change for us. Too bad about the money thing!
• Speaking of money, I just enrolled Krystal and Belle in the local YMCA camp that Krystal has attended the last two summers. Last summer I was less thrilled than I had been the year before, but I’m giving them another year for two big reasons: 1) they offered free pre and post child care (the camp itself runs from 9-4, and my work hours are longer than that) if you pay in full by Feb 1, and 2) it will be such a relief to finally have both kids in one location for drop-off/pick-up….oh, and 3) I’m saving almost $100 a week over the day care that Belle has been at – she’s finally old enough to attend the YMCA camp. So it cost me a lot up front, but in the end I’m saving about $500 with the free pre/post care (for both kids) and of course the $800+ that I’m not spending on Belle’s summer. But she’ll be back to the usual school for private Kindergarten in the fall, since my town only offers half day Kindergarten. Unless I lose my job, then who knows what we’ll do?

So much for quiet, eh?

In Which I Donate to a Charity

Last week I posted about doing a blog give away to a charity. I invited readers to leave a comment telling about their favorite charity, and that after a week I’d close comments and donate a dollar for every comment, up to $50, to one of the charities.

Well, that week is now up. I didn’t get 50 comments, not even close, but I’ll be giving $50 anyway, since that just feels like the right thing to do. Here are the charities that were proposed:

• MS Society – works to support those with Multiple Sclerosis in living their lives and finding a cure
• Half the Sky – assists orphaned children in China by improving their quality of life (both my kids were adopted from China)
• Critter Corral - a guinea pig rescue group
• ASPCA – works to prevent cruelty to animals

I think any one of these would be fantastic charities to donate your money to, and I’d like to encourage you to choose one of these, or any other that has meaning to you, and donate this holiday season. No amount is too small.

I thought about splitting up my $50 and giving to all four, but I’m going with my original intention, which was that one charity receive the entire amount. So finally, using a device of my own making, I’ve decided that the Ragtop Day charity donation of $50 will go to Half the Sky.

Thanks to all who commented, or even read this – and please consider a donation of your own to any organization of your choosing.