Second Kid, Different Verse

What to do about B – that is the question.

I adopted B in June 2006. She was just over 2 years old, and is now 3 years, 8 months old. From the very beginning she had a strong personality and was never shy about her likes (our guide) and dislikes (being carried by me). Oh, she loves me now, but there is nothing subtle about this kid. She is feisty, physically active, into everything (in both good and bad ways), an adventurous eater, a love bug, a loving and adversarial sister. She’s not much of a sleeper, but is otherwise usually fairly good natured. Except when she’s not. Then we are treated to the screech of “NOOOOOO!” without regard to time or place – 2 am is just as good as 2 pm in her mind, if that’s what she’s feeling.

She’s been attending day care (we call it school) since last summer, and has overall done well. It is the same school that K also attended, so I know them and like them. It’s a high quality program, with the price to match. I trust them.

Over the last several weeks I have started to get more and more negative reports on her when I pick her up at the end of the day. It seems to primarily revolve around naptime, when she will simply not settle down. She is not required to sleep (how the heck do you force a 3 year old to sleep anyway?), but the children do need to be quiet for a rest period, so the other children can sleep. Can I just say that taking other’s feelings into consideration is not one of her strong points?? On at least two occasions she has had to be removed from the classroom because of her refusal to stay on her cot, remain quiet or even on the floor (climbing furniture). I apologize when they tell me this, and they say I shouldn’t have to apologize. OK, but what DO I do?

This is really new to me. K has some quirks that drive me crazy, but she was never defiant like this. B is a whole new person presenting me with a whole new set of challenges. Just lately I’ve been thinking about trying to find a smaller preschool environment for her. Maybe there are just too many kids; maybe she needs more focused attention. So, I’m looking. We’ll see what I come up with.

In the meantime, I am offering her an incentive – if I get a good naptime report on her, she can listen to her favorite song on the way home. She calls it the Tomato Song (pretty close) and wants to share the CD with her class. On Day One of the incentive she did not earn it – here’s hoping the results are a bit better today!

ETA: Yay!!! B got a great report on her naptime activities and she was so proud of herself! We listed to the Tomato Song on the way home!

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One response to “Second Kid, Different Verse

  1. We adopted Alex when he was 5 (from Russia) and when he is good…he is very good. But when he is bad, he is terrible. He is very strong willed…but I am guessing that is how he survived so well in an orphanage.

    Good luck to you.

    Debbie Mumm
    http://www.everythingforadoption.com

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