K spent the weekend with my ex and his family, celebrating Christmas and her birthday (6 days away, as she announced this morning). Some thoughts from all that:
- His next-younger sister, who I adore, flew in from California for the weekend. She arrived on Friday with him to pick up K. She and her husband have gone through way more IVF cycles than any couple should have to endure, but her big news was to open her coat and show off her growing belly – due in May!! (Their parents weren’t told until Christmas Day.) Because none of her family, including her brother, my ex, knows about their struggles and certainly don’t know that I know, I could not ask any details. Nevertheless, I am thrilled for her!
- I got to spend the weekend alone with B. She is my more challenging child, for sure. Yet, I got to see her from a different angle this weekend. She was much more low key, agreeable and downright pleasant to be around. She and K have an overall pretty good relationship, but I am seeing how much B competes for attention with her behavior when K is around. A bit of a revelation for me. Makes me wonder how different she (or any kid) might be if she were my first/only.
- Ever since I adopted K, the amount of “stuff” that arrives for every conceivable holiday from my ex’s family has been overwhelming. Even holidays I didn’t know were gift giving occasions (St. Patricks Day, anyone?). So I have been dreading this weekend, especially with my new found determination to declutter. However, there wasn’t quite the volume of stuff as in past years. In fact, it was downright anemic. And what there was, is pure junk. I don’t know whether to be happy that there isn’t much, or to wonder what hidden message there might be in the drop-off.
- Have I mentioned what a big New England sports fan I am? Anyone know we are in the midst of NFL Playoffs? Divisional weekend? My team in the mix, with an undefeated record? Well, it’s all true! So Saturday night was a date with my TV as I watched the Patriots defeat the Jaguars for a trip to the AFC Championship game next weekend. And my ex texted me throughout the game (he is also a fan). Is this weird? Whether it is or isn’t, is it weirder if he might have a girlfriend? Should I even be spending time thinking about this?
- I am committed to decluttering. The hard part is getting my kids to cooperate. I want them to have some ownership in what stays and what goes, not because I think they’ll be upset if I throw away their favorite things, but because I want them to see the bigger picture here. I want them to understand the cycle we get caught up in when we accumulate more and more stuff. But I don’t know if I have the patience to let that sink in – there is too much I want gone.
- Freecycle? EBay? Craigslist? Goodwill? Trash? Those are the questions that I’m wrestling with as part of my declutter process. Opinions welcome!!
Snow day here today – I am so sick of the snow. K is home (and so I am working at home today) but she probably would have been home sick anyway.