Letter to My Body

I’m participating in BlogHer’s Love Your Body initiative, which I stumbled across on Y’s site. So here you go, body:

Dear Body,

First, let me say, thank you for being there for me for all these years. While I have not always treated you with the affection or respect you deserve, you have been far better to me. You are strong and capable. You can run further and longer than most women (or men) your age, and you can lift your children when they need or want to be lifted. Pretty much anything I’ve ever asked you to do, from a purely functional standpoint, you have done, without complaint and usually with alacrity!

I’m sorry for the times, including now, when I don’t treat you the way I should. I know you deserve to be treated better. When I was younger, I honestly didn’t know any better. I didn’t see any link between how I treated you and how you responded. Young bodies can hide a lot of sins. And when you were younger you sure hid a lot of mine. I thought you always would! The amount of sugar and fat I have ingested that you have had to deal with – ohmygoodness I sure wouldn’t want to see all of that in a dumpster (since I’m sure that’s what it would take to hold it all). And now you’re less able to hide it for me, both from a visual standpoint, and from a health point of view.

Sometimes I look at you and hate parts that I see staring back at me. The thickness in the middle. The extra stuff that means I can’t get this pair of jeans on, or that this other pair looks ridiculous on me. And I blame you for that. But that’s not fair, is it? You only respond to what I put in you, either via food or exercise, don’t you? If children learn what they live, bodies surely are the same.

I have always thought you could stand to lose some pounds. Sometimes only 5 pounds, and sometimes 20 or more pounds. But I have never ever been satisfied with the size and shape of you. Yet, when I see photos of you from an earlier time I’m struck by how cute you were. But I didn’t know it then. There’s a lesson there, and I even know what it is. Love yourself, the way you are right now.

Body, I’d like this to be a love letter to you, since that’s what you deserve. I think there must be a part of me that doesn’t believe I deserve it, which is why we have such a cyclical relationship. But, if I don’t take care of you, where will I live?