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Monthly Archives: May 2008
Protected: In My Life
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Posted in Memories
After much thought, and a nudge from this post, I’ve decided to formally introduce you to my children. Aren’t you excited? Heart pumping, palms sweaty, all that good stuff? Good!!
Here’s K, who will now be known as Krystal.
And B, who would like to be known as Belle.
Yes, they chose these names for themselves.
More later – a few topics percolating but we’ve got ice skating and baseball to attend to!
Posted in Kids
Get Out of My Head
There is a scene in an episode of last season’s “Heroes” in which Matt Parkman is trying to read Angela Petrellis’ mind (using his power) in order to find out more about a murder and an affair. We hear her mind scream at his mind, “Get out of my head!”.
I know how she feels. My kids want to crawl inside my head. I feel like I can’t have a private thought, ever. Of course they can’t read my mind (at least not yet), but they are so in tune to my mannerisms and routines. It’s maddening sometimes.
This morning we were in a rush (as usual) to get out of the house. I got the girls into the car and was just getting in myself when I remembered something that I’d forgotten to bring (this happens often too). Quickly deciding I didn’t want to take the time to run up and get it, I just said, “Shoot”, almost under my breath. This started an inquisition! “Why did you say ‘shoot'”, B wanted to know. “Oh, I forgot something” I might say. “What?” Sometimes I’ll answer, and sometimes I won’t. Sometimes I just don’t want to get into a discussion about whatever thought just whizzed through my head, especially if it is work related (often), or simply a “grown-up” thing (almost as often). I wish I could train myself to have absolutely no reaction when these thoughts appear, but so far no luck. I sometimes truly do want to shout, “Get out of my head!”
Anyone else ever experience this? Or are my kids just inordinately involved in the minutiae of my life?
Men, Playdates, Ice Cream
My free eHarmony membership is due to expire in a few hours. I’ve done the back-and-forth thing with a couple of men, to various points in the process. Here’s how it works (for those of you who are interested – if you’re not, just skip down to the boring weekend updates):
- First, one of you initiates communication. This consists of sending 5 questions, out of about 30 that you can select from. They are multiple choice, with set answers, but there is also a free form answer you can use. Once the first person answers the questions, they can send back their own questions. So then you’ve both asked and answered 5 questions.
- Next you move into the “Must Have’s” and “Can’t Stands”. This is a list of about 60 or so qualities or attributes that, as the name says, your partner “must have” or that you “can’t stand”. Out of the 60 that are listed for each, you pick your top, or bottom, as the case may be, 10. Let me tell you, narrowing this to 10 was exceedingly difficult for me! Especially on the “can’t stand” side, since there wasn’t a single quality on that list that I would happily tolerate in a partner. I mean, I know none of us is perfect, but choosing between “mean-spirited”, “addictions” and “intolerant” is tough (the other 57 choices were similar).
- The next phase is “second questions”, which is 3 questions – you can choose 3 “stock” questions, or write your own. I am at this phase with 2 men right now, but have elected not to continue. Free is running out, and I honestly don’t have the time. But let me tell you how it went…
One of the men had as one of his “Must Haves” that his partner be “S*xually Knowledgeable” which is defined as “mature and experienced as a potential s*xual partner and is able to express himself/herself freely.” (the wording is eHarmony’s wording, but that’s what you’re saying if you select this). Really? That’s in your top 10? This guy is 51 years old!!! I am all for having it, but I had no trouble picking 10, or even 20 or 30 on the list that would come above this. Is that a male thing? I formally closed our match after receiving that. Another man listed one of his “Must Haves” as someone who is considered very attractive by conventional standards (again, the wording is stock). Um, I’ll say again, while I am not UNattractive, I am probably more on the cute scale than pretty, and I’d never be able to live up to that, even if he thought I fit the bill. I haven’t responded to him after reading that. And since, tick tick tick, I probably won’t.
All told, I think I ended up reading 21 profiles, all of which were sent to me via the eHarmony algorithm, meaning we are a match on paper. Some of them were laughable. One man said he is “very attractive, so I am very particular about who I go out with.” Okkkaaay. Another described himself as very wealthy, including descriptions of his yacht and his considerable leisure time, and then said it was hard to know if people really liked him for himself or his money. Hmmm, first step might be holding off on mentioning it! Still others had glaring typos or grammatical errors in their profiles – those were easy to bypass.
Lessons from this weekend, for when I’m ready:
- There are single men out there in my age range
- Most of them are divorced (one mentioned being a widower), and have children. However, of those that mentioned an age, the children were college-aged or older. Having still young children may be a hindrance for me
- Despite the “matching” that an online service can do, there is considerable leg work involved in selecting a partner. I guess that’s not really news to anyone though, is it?
- I probably need to wait till my kids can be left alone, since I can’t afford a babysitter to “date”
Wow, that was long. Forget skipping below for weekend updates, which mostly consisted of shuttling kids from activity to activity, playdates (hate that term!), going out for ice cream Sunday night, and yard work. The weather was picture-perfect all 3 days. And trying to squeeze in some civic lessons for the kids on why we actually celebrate Memorial Day – they get it as well as they can.
Posted in Relationship Saga
It’s Raining Men!
OK, that was corny. But I feel a little corny, and very, for lack of a better term, school-girlish!
Sometimes I feel a little “different” — most of the bloggers I read (and who seem to read me) are married women. I didn’t even feel married when I was! But due to an email promotion I got for the Memorial Day weekend, I “joined” eHarmony. And I’ve been “matched” with 6 men!
I filled out the profile, which consisted of a LOT of questions, first thing this morning. When I got home from work there was one man who had initiated communication with me. I’m sure it was the “new blood” phenomenon as much as anything, but hey, that’s OK. I’m not sure I really even have time to date! But there was one guy who looked interesting to me – I’m just shy about making the first move. Why?? I don’t know! I have all weekend, maybe tomorrow.
But it’s funny how seemingly little things make me turn up my nose. One guy says he never drinks. While I don’t consider myself a big drinker, I do enjoy a glass of wine or two on the weekends, and I’d like to share that with a partner. So a non-drinker seems out for me. Another one gave me a “nudge” to post my photo (which I have set to be visible after we’ve reached a certain stage in communication), and I found that to be a turn-off. He was also the one who described his ideal mate as one who is physically attractive. I don’t think I’m unattractive, but I don’t want a man who thinks that is so important that it’s in the top 3 things he’s looking for, ya know what I’m saying??
Anyhow, I’m sure this is a just a weekend thing for me, as I doubt I’ll cough up the money to pay for the service when the free period is over – I’m just not in a place to commit to it right now. But I’ll enjoy the ego rush this weekend as I see if there’s anyone out there. And maybe feel just a little bit popular while I’m at it.
Posted in Relationship Saga
David Cook is the winner of American Idol!
I love DC. I think he is an original, I enjoy his singing style and, can I just say how freaking adorable I think he is?? His looks have certainly morphed throughout the run of this season, and I really, REALLY like the new look.
Archie blew me away with his “Imagine” performance in Beatles week, but last night it was just meh. I agreed with what DC said last night when he was criticized for not doing a reprise . He said something like, “This is a progression, and I wanted to do something new.”
I must confess I didn’t cast a single vote this season. I am much more likely to buy a David Cook CD than a David Archuleta CD, but I would have been OK with the results going the other way, since it’s hard for me to envision DC in the cookie cutter mold I imagine AI is all about. Still, I’m sure the AI folks are thrilled not to have to deal with stage dad if DA had won.
A huge congratulations to both Davids tonight. And DC, call me!
Are You Fit?
I’ve been seeing ads for the Wii Fit all over the place. Question: Do you also have to own the regular Wii machine? Or is it a separate thing of its own? (Do I even really care? I’m not sure…..)
I grew up in Massachusetts – Ted Kennedy has been in the Senate for a year longer than I’ve been on this earth. Politics aside, the man is an institution. I am sad for him and his family about the recent announcement of his malignant brain tumor.
I turned on NESN (our local sports channel) last night in the 8th inning of the Red Sox/Royals game, where Jon Lester thew a no-hitter. Jason Varitek entered the history books by catching his 4th no-hitter, for 4 different pitchers. It is a great time to be a New England sports fan.
After turning around my eating patterns for a few weeks and dropping a few pounds, I’ve slipped again. I need to get back on track. I feel better, I look better when I eat more healthily, and less. It’s hard. But it’s hard to wear tight clothes and wish I were smaller too. I just need to pick my hard.
Janet – please do let me know what you find out about the rats as a good pet – I’m very intrigued by this. In fact, when I purchased my first pair of hamsters as a child with my own money, I originally set out to buy a rat, after being inspired by the pet rat of a character in a book I had just read. Unfortunately, Grant’s didn’t have any rats, so I settled for the hamsters. But if the rats are non-nocturnal (diurnal?) and can be litter trained (who knew?!?), that would be awesome!
My brain seems to be thinking in snippets lately – off to bed!
It’s Just Another Manic Monday
Remember that song? By the Bangles, I believe. When I was in Basic Training it was popular (early 1986?) and Sundays were our day “off”. We got to sleep in till 6:30 and spend the day waxing our floors, doing laundry, polishing boots and squaring away our bunks and trunks. We also got to listen to music, and that song became our anthem, especially the line “I wish it was Sunday” since that really was the best day of the week.
Just a few random thoughts for today (in addition to the one above!):
- My friends are getting old! A friend just sent me a link to some family photos from the weekend, and I can’t get over how old her husband looks. Good lord, if he’s getting older, I guess we are too!
- Sometime over the weekend “they” changed the toilet paper dispensers in the bathroom stalls at work. This I cannot figure out – what was wrong with the old ones?? Money is tight at work these days – folks are being laid off and cost cutting is happening in ways I’ve never seen in my nearly 12 years there. But toilet paper dispensers made the cut?
- I need to get out more. My mother visited this weekend, and her gift to me was to watch the girls while I spent time with a friend. The whole time I was gone they kept asking her “Why does Mom have to go out anyway? Why does she need any friends? She has us!”
Over and out!
Ice Cream Rant
I stopped by the grocery store on the way home from work tonight, and I spent a good 5 minutes staring and pacing in front of the freezer where they sell the ice cream. I was flabbergasted, flumoxed, shocked, aghast, enraged and indignant!
Remember how ice cream used to be sold in half gallon containers? For the past year or two (or longer?) they’ve been sold in 1.75 quart containers, which is 8 ounces short of a half gallon. OK. Yogurt containers somehow went from 8 ounces to 6 ounces aroudn the same time.
But today. TODAY! The ice cream of my favorite supermarket brand (Edy’s, which I believe is known as Dreyers in other parts of the country) was being sold in 1.5 quart containers! For the same price as the 1.75 quart containers of course! And they even looked short and squat!
I bought a different brand, which is, for now, still sold in the larger (but still less than half gallon!) size, but I am peeved!!
The Pet Dilemma
I am an animal lover. Growing up, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I was the kid all the neighbors called to take care of their pets when they went away, and we always had animals. When I went off on my own, my roommate gave me a kitten in our “no pets allowed” apartment, and I even got to keep the dog when a relationship ended years later. In fact, I think of that dog as my “first child”. Unfortunately, I had to put him down only a few weeks before I traveled to China to adopt K, and my life has been pretty full with children ever since.
Lately my girls have been laying on the pet guilt pretty thick. K, especially, claims every person she knows has a dog. Or a cat. Or both.
Let’s talk facts here.
- K has been allergy tested – she is allergic to both cats and dogs
- B has not been specifically tested, but does have asthma
- I am completely stressed out with the life we already have and cannot imagine having to take care of an animal. Dogs need to be walked (our yard is far too small to be fenced in). Cats need a litter box and not only do I hate litter boxes, but they are messy and can smell (even when changed frequently). Yet I love cats.
Conclusion: We have no business getting a cat or a dog. At least not right now.
Yet, I do think caring for pets teaches kids so much. Responsibility, empathy, unconditional love, just to name a few.
I told the girls I could handle a fish, but they rejected that, claiming it was too boring. I had hamsters as a 10 year old, but they are nocturnal (noisy!) and keeping up with the cage cleaning was a big job (as I recall).
Any suggestions for a very low maintenance pet that would be acceptable and appropriate for young children?
Posted in Family Drama, Kids