Fourth Eve

So I’m up here in New England, sick as a dog.

The Fourth of July is my favorite holiday. Does that sound weird? I love it because:

  • It’s festive! A happy occasion for all! It’s a birthday party, really!
  • A birthday party, but no gift giving required! Can I get a Woot Woot on that?
  • Food, drink, friends, fireworks
  • A P.S. – my blog banner is our toes last year painted in a flag motif – it was a big hit!

Anyway, last year we traveled all day to our friends’ house for the holiday. Because it landed on a Wednesday, I took Thursday and Friday off and we had a nice long weekend with them. Although the weather could have been nicer on the actual day, because of the afore-mentioned food, drink, friends and (our own) fireworks, it didn’t matter.

This year my friend is working all weekend, so it didn’t make sense to go. Which leaves us with 3 days at home to fill.

Well, I have a good friend. He lives about 2 hours away in another state. We were a couple for about a year in the early 90’s, but stayed in touch after that ended. First he got married, then I did, but we kept up very occasional emails/instant messages. Although, even though this will reflect badly on him, I feel like I have to mention this. Just before I met the man I married, he started calling me once a month or so, complaining to me about his wife, who I never met. My advice to him then, and would be the same today, was – get help or get out. He did neither. After I met the man I married he stopped calling, but I’d hear from him sporadically in email. Then one day I got an email from him telling me that his wife had passed away 2 weeks prior – she had been driving home from work and had an apparent cerebral aneurysm burst. It was the day before her 43rd birthday. Being absolutely miserable in my own  marriage at the time, my first thought was a blasphemous “you lucky duck”.

Fast forward a year and half from then and I divorced the man I married. When I announced I was adopting Belle I heard a catch in his response (or I made it up), which I interpreted as, “I could have handled Krystal, but two kids??” And before I go any further, please know that I have no romantic interest in him whatsoever. Whatsoever! He is a good man, a thoughtful friend, a giver if there ever was one. But he’s boring and is afraid to take any risks in life. Any. And that is a huge turnoff to me. One small example and then I’ll drop this subject (and you can decide if I am shallow or justified) – he is the pickiest eater I have ever, ever met. He will eat chicken parmesan or peanut butter and jelly. Don’t you dare put a spice in anything, or heaven forbid anything else with any flavor! My kids are more adventurous eaters than he is! And while I realize that can sound ridiculous in the great scheme of what makes a person who they are, to me it is very representative of his lack of willingness to try anything new. I said it when we broke up (some 14 years ago!), and I’ll say it again now, he’s a great guy and I’d have no problem with anyone I knew dating him, but he and I are just not right for each other.

Phew! I can’t believe I’ve rambled on about THAT so long! Anyway, the reason I’m mentioning him is that he is going to be visiting us for the day, possibly overnight, tomorrow for the holiday. The girls are very excited but are concerned about him having to sleep on pink butterfly sheets in our “spare” room. I told them I was sure he wouldn’t mind.

And that brings me back to my first sentence. I’m sick. My throat hurts and I feel achy. I’m the queen of strep throat, but it doesn’t feel as bad as that. And while the aches scream “flu!” to me, it’s not flu season, and they aren’t quite THAT bad.  But I do feel lousy enough that I worked from home and took a nap in the middle of the afternoon today.

I expect to hear from him later today to firm up what time he plans to get here tomorrow – do I tell him not to come? Or let him come and take some of the kid-pressure off? My kids have a way of escalating their rotten behavior precisely when I’ve asked them to take it easy on me because I’m tired, or don’t feel well. Having another person here for them to exert their energy on might be nice. And he always does offer himself up as a babysitter if I want to go do something on my own, since he knows I don’t get much (any) opportunity for that.  I’ve never taken him up on that, but tomorrow might be the day.

But it’s my favorite holiday! And I have no food or drink in the house (to speak of). I did buy sparklers though – let’s hope we can get some good photos.


One response to “Fourth Eve

  1. Obviously I’m reading this way too late to be of any use at all to you. Typical. I would have said, let him come and help you out in cooking boring food while you feel bad. That way you get a bit of rest.

    So what DID you do?

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