A Visit with the Ex-In Laws

Does that make them outlaws?

Yesterday morning my ex-husband called to say there was a change in plans – the baby (his new nephew) had a fever, and since his sister had been up with him all night, everyone was moving out of the hotel room they were in in Massachusetts (for her friend’s wedding the night before), and heading to his parents’ house in Connecticut. Well, six of one, half dozen of the other for us as far as distance was concerned, so Plan B was put into action and the girls and I headed to my ex-inlaws house for the day. But first we had to drop Tessie off with a neighbor – we were going to be gone for 10-11 hours and that is way too long to leave a dog, especially a puppy, in a crate!

I’ll cut to the chase here: I spent all day with my ex-husband, his parents, his two sisters, his new nephew and one of his brother-in-law’s, most of whom I hadn’t seen in 2-3 years, and even that was more incidental than a visit. After all, I divorced their son/brother, and as nice as they’ve been, I’m no longer family. Even my children are not “theirs” since my ex never adopted them. Was it weird, or awkward, I hear you asking? And to that I have to say no, and no.

We were really there to see my ex-sister-in-law (I’ll call her Julie), who has a 4.5 month old son. Since they live in California, we don’t see them often anyway, and of course everyone was excited to see the baby. Belle watched him carefully, and asked Julie, “Did he grow in your tummy?” and Julie said that yes, he did. Which then prompted Belle to ask, “Was it hard for you to eat?” Ah, kids!

Krystal spent the entire visit pretty much draped over the ex. But so far the fallout is much better than it was a month ago, which I attribute to two things: 1) I was there the whole time, and 2) we were the ones doing the coming and going.

We pretty much hung around the house – the baby’s illness seemed to have subsided, and it was much more comfortable hanging around a house than it would have been hanging around a hotel room. We had football on all day and from a strictly selfish point of view, it was really nice to watch football with other adults. I found my blood pressure stayed much more normal than it does when I watch alone! We had to leave in the 3rd quarter of the Patriots game, but I listened to the rest of it on the radio on the way home – definitely a good win!

I have no idea what, if anything, my ex has shared with his family about our marriage, divorce and relationship since. I suspect next to nothing, just based on little things that have transpired. For instance, when I spoke to Julie on Friday to make sure they had made it and that we were still on, etc, she mentioned that her brother would be there and she hoped that would be OK. To which I had to say that when I saw him a month ago he had said he was going to be there. So it wasn’t a surprise, and of course I have no issue. Frankly, he and I are getting along better now than we did through most of our marriage.

And I wonder what they wonder. If they wonder anything at all. We were pleasant, respectful and helpful to one another. Through conversation various memories came up from the time we were together, and it was not awkward. It really wasn’t. But when we left I hugged everyone but him.

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One response to “A Visit with the Ex-In Laws

  1. I’ve not had occasion to visit with my ex’s family since our divorce. But they were always gracious and I’m sure would continue to be so. I’m glad it was a good experience for everyone. Belle is pretty awesome smart. (It really is hard to eat sometimes, because even though the baby isn’t actually in your stomach, it sure crowds everything up.)

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