So Mr. Elusive, the high school would-be-prom-date-except-for-me-laughing-in-his-face, has been found. Since finding him via Facebook we have emailed 4-5 times over the last 2 days – just basic catching up stuff. I told him I’d tried several times over the years to find him, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to dive right into why, but reassured him I wanted nothing from him.
Then today he noticed my name on his Gmail account, so he sent me a chat message, and we chatted on and off for a few hours (we were both working), and he asked me why I had been “hunting him down”. I hemmed and hawed a bit about it being immature and “high school” and before I could even get to it (these are copied/pasted from our chat session):
Mr. Elusive: I did think you let me down easy when I asked you to the Prom
Me: easy? in my memory i laughed in your face. which was rude and immature. i had never been asked to the prom before and i didn’t know how to respond.
Mr. Elusive: I think I asked you out of blue and took laugh as shock more than mean
Me: yes, that’s what it WAS – i was embarrassed and surprised but i felt like it probably felt mean to you and if you were already mature enough to understand me, then you are a fine, fine person. you were someone i liked and cared about, and even a split second later i wished i could have taken it back
So, against Janet’s advice (which I read after this exchange had taken place), I spilled, and I must say, I feel better. As he reminded me, it’s been over 28 years. We’ve lived more since that event took place than we had up to that point. But it really has always bothered me, and I feel some release to hear that he understood. Whether he really understood it so well at the time, or came to that realization with some reflection over time I can’t know.