Cuddle

Tonight at bedtime I relaxed on my bed while the girls brushed their teeth, put on their pajamas and basically procrastinated the actual going to bed part.

Krystal came in and lay next to me on my bed.

“We don’t cuddle anymore, Mommy,” she said.

“I miss cuddling with you,” I said. And I realized it was true. She used to come into my bed early in the morning and we’d cuddle before getting up.

Then Belle came along, and our routine changed. Belle has one speed and it is HIGH. She is awake before anyone else in the house, and has strict instructions on clock-reading so she doesn’t start everyone’s day before a decent hour. Each morning — weekday, weekend, holiday, it doesn’t matter  — she bursts into my room, often startling the dogs into a frightened bark, and always setting my own heart a-jack-hammering. I don’t need an alarm clock, I have Belle.

Belle is not a cuddler. She is a bouncer, a mover, a kicker – a tornado. There is no relaxing in bed once she has arrived. So she and I usually get up and take the dogs out, feeding them and doing any little morning things we need to do. Krystal is still asleep, or pretending to be, at this point. Any time for cuddling has passed.

I miss cuddling with Krystal, and at age nine her cuddling days with mom are in their twilight, I fear. I miss the cuddling Belle and I have rarely done because she’s wired differently. I have a friend who predicts Belle will be the one tweezing my chin hairs from my nursing home. Maybe our cuddling days are still ahead of us then, roles reversed.

Hip Photo

Really just trying this out from my iPhone. Goal: upload a picture. Let’s see if I’m successful.

Fashion Challenge

I have no sense of style.

You know that TV show, “What Not to Wear”? I would love to be a contestant (is that the word?) on that show! To have someone give me a pile of money and personalized fashion advice, not to mention the hair and make-up — I just swoon whenever I think about it.

My personal style can best by described as “casual”. I wear jeans and T-shirts (topped by a sweatshirt if seasonally appropriate; substitute shorts for jeans if the seasons go the other way). On my feet I wear sneakers, or my new favorite shoe, the Merrell Encore Chill. Comfy as all heck, but not exactly fashionable. My friend and I joke that we are shoe challenged – we wear what feels good and have no idea what looks good. I am allergic to heels over an inch or so.

Last night I watched the documentary, “Shut Up & Sing“, which is about the Dixie Chicks and the fallout from their 2003 eve-of-the-war comment about President Bush. I highly recommend this movie. While I’ve always been a fan of the Dixie Chicks,  I think the movie would appeal to anyone who cares about independence, free speech and integrity. I came away feeling incredibly impressed with the maturity and thoughtfulness of the three women who make up the group. What to them was a throw-away comment turned into a boycott of their music by country radio stations and impacted record and ticket sales. It would have been so easy for them to “make nice” and make it all go away, bringing their music back to country radio and resurrecting ticket sales. But they were firm in the conviction they had done nothing wrong (I personally agree with this) and refused to compromise musically. If country music wouldn’t take them, they’d find another audience. And they did!

But to bring this back to the topic of fashion, I absolutely loved the clothes Natalie, Emily and Martie (the Dixie Chicks) wear when they are on stage. Being fashion-challenged, I’m not really sure how to describe it. Funky comes to mind. Lots of color, different materials and layers. I really just thought it all looked cool. I fear I’m too old to pull off such a look now (unless I make it big in rock or country sometime soon), but if I get the chance to do it again, I’m going to find a more exciting personal style when I’m younger. My high school and college days were spent mostly in preppy clothes – alligators and chinos were pretty big in my wardrobe. Snore.

Do you have a personal style? How did it develop? How long have you had it? What do you wish were different?

A Gift

Yesterday was my birthday. I’ll wait while you shout ‘Happy Birthday!” and “I wish I’d have known!” and “I feel bad I don’t have a gift!” If anyone is thinking of singing, please don’t. Sadly I think the traditional Happy Birthday tune is quite dreary. But I certainly appreciate and accept your good wishes. <insert gracious nod here>

Got all that out of the way? Good.

I’m giving myself a gift. I told myself I was giving it starting today, but then I forgot. And the day is nearly over (just past 9 pm as I type this). So I figured by putting it in writing, sending it out over the wire and all, I’ll be more committed to my own gift.

Best of all, the gift I want to give myself won’t cost a dime.

It’s to treat my body well.

This means making a better effort at eating right, mostly. I’m already an avid exerciser. By avid, I mean I enjoy running and try to do it more days than not. Truthfully life (job and kids) and weather interfere more than I’d like, but I can still run further and faster than the average bear. I do want to start doing weight training. My arms are flabby and I have back fat up the ying yang. Needless to say, I don’t like how that looks.

Today I did not eat well.

Meals, I eat pretty healthy. I like pretty much everything. Food and I do not have trouble getting along. I love fresh fruits and vegetables, and appreciate creative food preparation and pairings. Flavor and variety are good!

But I also have a massive sweet tooth. Mostly in the form of chocolate. I’ve gotten into some very bad habits in the last few months due to that tooth (and its friends), and the pounds have crept on. This must stop. I deserve better than this.

I love myself. I love my body. And the best way to show that is to feed it good food and to keep the junk out.

There. It’s in writing. And after I hit “Publish” it will be out there for all my thousands (cough, cough) of readers to see and I will be committed.

We deserve it.