Bye Bye Hair

Yesterday, December 20th, was the day Krystal had written “Bye Bye Hair” on the calendar. She’s been growing her hair out for a good year now, always with the end goal of donating her hair. Several of her friends have done it over the last few years, and for a long time she was excited about it. As her hair got longer though, she started to cling to the idea of long hair.

We woke up to snow yesterday, and rather than deal with it, we decided to postpone the donation by a day. Today after school we washed it, and headed off for the big event.

The “before” photo:

Sectioning the hair into ponytails for easier cutting:

She is really not so sure this is a good idea:

Showing off the goods!

She sulked in the car all the way home about how ugly her new hair was. I aboslutely love it and think she looks completely adorable. It wasn’t till we got home and she was able to really look at herself in the mirror that she changed her tune. She asked for this photo to be taken and the smile is genuine:

I’m so proud of her. She can always grow it out again and donate it again (and again, and again), but for now I’m really looking forward to not fighting with her over keeping her hair brushed and out of her face!

A Reader!

I am probably one of the last people to figure this out.

I’ve been reading blogs via a “reader” for awhile now. I’d click the little RSS icon in the address field and add them to my “Favorite Blog Feeds” folder. I’d then be able to check to see if anyone had a new post up to read. I could never understand when people would say something like “be sure to click through to see my new design” and other things, since I always landed one everyone’s actual blog.

Over the weekend though, all my subscribed blogs said “Live Bookmark Feed Failed to Load”. All of them! What is going on?

I’m not a total idiot (truly!), so I decided to subscribe to my favorite blogs using Google Reader instead.

Wow!

After a slight “getting used to it” curve, I’m more thrilled than ever. I can immediately see whether anyone has a new post up, rather than paging through each blog separately. Blogs are listed alphabetically, rather than by the order in which I added them. True, I don’t get to see everyone’s side bars unless I click through, but it’s a nice fast way to read a bunch of posts in a short period of time. I love it!

Oh, Brother, Mother

Last year at Christmas I was disheartened at the multitude of gifts my children received, both from me and others, that have never been used. We talked about taking a trip next year (now this year!), and keeping the gift count low. At their ages, I knew I would have to revisit this, since Christmas is way more about what you get to unwrap than any meaning it might or should have.

So this summer I brought it up again, and they were both enthusiastic about a trip, “as long as it’s someplace warm.”

I belong to an online community of Disney enthusiasts, and as it turned out, a full weekend of events was planned in Florida for Dec 10-13. I decided that was close enough to Christmas, and booked a trip. I asked my mother if she would like to come with us (partly to act as babysitter) and she enthusiastically accepted. Traveling with my mother has not always worked out for me in the past, but this was short enough,, and the kids would be around, so I figured we’d get through it.

I held off on telling the kids until Thanksgiving! Just two weeks notice! I said, “Hey, we’re going to Disney World for Christmas!” and there was much cheering. Then I said, “And Mimi is meeting us there!” Silence. Then, “Oh.” and “Does she have to come?” Not good. Unfortunately, things went downhill from there. A summary, in the form of an instant message chat with a friend (so I don’t have to retype everything!):

Me…     so, thursday night, we get to the resort, and grab some dinner

Me…     we basically ate ice cream for dinner (yummy!)

Me…     then we were headed to dhs

Me…     i said, “shall we walk, or take transportation?”

Me…     everyone said they didn’t care

Me…     so i said, “well, i just ate a huge ice cream, let’s walk”

Me…     and everyone (including my kids) started whining

Me…     soooo typical of my mother – she expects you to read her mind

Friend  lmao

Me…     when i ask what you want to do, if you have a preference, i expect you to SAY SOMETHING

Me…     otherwise, don’t get mad at me when i make a decision

Me…     ok, so that irritated me, but it was NOTHING

Me…     friday morning i had a seminar that got out about 12:30

Me…     i met up with my mom and the kids in epcot around 1

Me…     i was STARVING

Me…     i showed up and said so

Me…     my mom says “we had a big breakfast.”

Me…     let me ask you – if someone said that to you, what would you think?

Friend  that they wouldn’t need lunch

Friend  maybe a small snack a little later

Friend  so go ahead and get yourself something

Me…     yeah, that’s what i thought too

Me…     so, i say, “let’s go to morocco”

Me…     and we head that way

Me…     and my mom starts in with her passive aggressive talk about how she’s afraid of morocco

Me…     yes, afraid of a “country” in EPOCT!

Me…     we get there and she starts throwing a fit how i never asked what SHE wanted to do

Friend  lol

Friend  you’re like, all I want is something to EAT!

Me…     so i say, “fine, what would you like to do?”

Me…     “not eat here” she says

Me…     i say, “you said you had a big breakfast”

Me…     “no, your CHILDREN ate a big breakfast – i just had fruit”

Me…     omfg

Friend  lol

Friend  oh, okay but that’s NOT what you said!

Me…     exactly!!!

Me…     which i reminded her!

Me…     she has bad feet

Me…     so i suggested she find a table and sit down

Me…     later, she grumbled that she was assigned as the “table holder”

Me…     i said – i would have held the table and you could have stood in line! i thought you’d rather sit!

Me…     good lord, i can’t do ANYTHING right!

Me…     at lunch she decided she’d had enough and was going to head back to the room

Me…     the tension immediately lifted when she left

Me…     the girls (esp krystal) filled me in on her meanness while i’d been away “please don’t leave us again”

Me…     unfortunately, she took the girls’ park tickets with her, so we couldn’t get any more fast passes

Friend  oh no

Me…     which, when she heard that later on, accused me of blaming her for not letting the kids go on any rides

Me…     which i wasn’t! it was just a fact!

Me…     we found plenty to do

Friend  lol

Me…     friday night i went out drinking with my geek buddies

Friend  geek buddies

Friend  lol

Me…     saturday we had a fairly decent day at AK

Me…     except

Me…     i had made reservations for lunch at tusker house, which was her request

Me…     and when i reminded her of that she said “i didn’t want lunch, i wanted dinner!”

Friend  lol

Me…     again, i can do nothing right!!!

Me…     Saturday night i went out to the private party at toy story mania

Me…     didn’t get home till 1 am

Friend  ooooh

Friend  lol

Me…     ex-freaking-zausted on sunday

Me…     we did rope drop at MK on sunday

Me…     but as we were getting ready to leave in the room, my mom got both girls crying

Friend  because they were going to miss her soo much?

Friend  lol

Me…     she had a fit over some yogurt that belle had spilled on a chair and she had sat in, and had to get her pants all wet to wash off

Me…     she really lost it

Friend  oh boy

Me…     and krystal wrote a note to me that said “i am a terrible child. i hate myself”

Me…     because of how my mother had been treating her

Friend 

Friend  i’m sorry!

Me…     she’s awful

Me…     i don’t want to see her for xmas

Friend  how? why?

Friend  like how did you manage to grow up?

Friend 

Me…     i don’t know!

Me…     she’s always admitted she liked us (my sister and me) more as we got older

Me…     and i guess i’m the same way – i like kids better than babies or toddlers

Me…     and she’s always been passive aggressive and expecting the mind reading thing

Me…     but now she’s doing it to my kids – making up rules as she goes along and coming down on them for the littlest things!

Me…     that’s my job!

Me…     i took the girls on this trip to make memories

Me… they didn’t come away with the kind of memories i had in mind…..

Tree Troubles

What to do about our Christmas Tree this year?

I’m in the “two weeks before Christmas” camp as far as Christmas trees go. While not morally (or otherwise) opposed to artificial trees, we’ve always had a real tree and frankly, I have no appetite for purchasing an artificial tree this time of year. With my two week time frame, next weekend would be the perfect time to get our tree.

Except for one teensy little problem.

We are going away from Thursday – Monday as our big family Christmas gift this year.

We won’t be back till mid-afternoon on December 14th, and then work and school will take over the rest of the week. Yes, we could get our tree the weekend after we get back (in this case Dec 19-20), but we are actually going away to visit friends the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I’m not comfortable leaving a live tree up for more than a day without someone being home.

Anyone got a spare artificial tree we can borrow this year?

My New Blog

Hi to my great cadre of readers (all two of you) – most of what I have written about lately has centered around my dating experiences, and since I have lots more to say about that, but don’t want to say it here, I’ve started a new blog. If you’re interested in reading about my experiences in dating, head on over, and if you’re not, you can stay here – I don’t plan to mention dating anymore over here.

Easy Come, Easy Go

I am writing this mostly as therapy for myself, a way to work through some of my emotions around this.

I fell hard for Tim. We emailed and IM’d a lot before we finally met. We really clicked and I could barely wait to meet him. He felt the same. He was playful and smart and funny and I was wildly attracted to him. We saw each other four times in that first week after meeting. We were talking about the future, and were connecting. I think it’s fair to say I’d never connected with anyone on so many levels, so quickly. Everything seemed promising. The morning before Thanksgiving we made plans for Monday(he has his boys all weekend so we wouldn’t be able to get together). We both moaned and groaned about how difficult it would be to wait that long to see each other again.

We each had other plans on Thanksgiving, and it was too early to meet each other’s families. I texted him on Thanksgiving afternoon, a simple “gobble, gobble” to let him know I was thinking of him, and I got a wordy text back which ended in “Talk to you soon” but I didn’t hear from him that night, nor all day on Friday. Friday evening he logged on to IM and sent me a message saying he and the boys had just gotten home, they were going to watch a show and would I be around later. I settled in to wait for him to be free so we could chat, either online or on the phone.

He called after the boys were in bed, and after sharing Thanksgiving Day stories he said, “I need to talk to you about something,” and my blood ran cold.

Wednesday evening, his most recent ex-girlfriend showed up at his house. As he said, “I thought our story was over, but it isn’t.” He went on and on about how wonderful and amazing I am but I wasn’t really listening. How wonderful can you be if you come in second place? If you can be excited about someone in the morning, and then jumping back with someone else a few hours later? I listened, and was silent. He said he had seen a future with me, and that he had been looking forward to where were going. Finally I said, in a cry-filled voice, “I don’t know what you want me to say.” He must have said something and I then said, “You seem like a great guy, so I’ll wish you happiness.” And then, “The longer I stay on the phone with you the harder this will be” and we hung up. I was numb. I barely slept all night. I’m still mostly numb.

My three year marriage was mostly miserable. It ended slowly and agonizingly, as each day the love and desire oh-so-slowly slipped away. I never shed a tear during the whole process. I have already cried over Tim. I know he doesn’t deserve this much of my grief and energy. I feel foolish for falling so hard and so quickly. For hurting so much when I have only known him a short time. And yet, I don’t know any other way to be.

I am so, so sad. I’m definitely feeling sorry for myself and am not sure how to snap out of it. I miss the potential we thought we had in a way that makes my heart hurt. I’m wondering if I really have the stomach, or the heart, for this dating thing.

Giving Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving!

We are enjoying a lazy day at home before heading over to friends’ for a dinner hour Thanksgiving meal. We are bringing two pies, the recipes for which were offered up by Facebook friends when I posted a status looking for new recipes to try. They are both setting in the frig right now, and were easy to make. I hope they taste as good!

Today I am thankful for my two beautiful and healthy children, my own good health, our two dogs, my job and all our friends and family.

Taking some “Me” Time

So, update time!

Last year in my dipping-toe-in-the-water-of-dating I determined pretty quickly that I just didn’t have the time to date. My life is very full and busy. I hold down a full time job for a salary, am parenting two still-young children on my own (a full time job in itself), maintain a home, have now two dogs and all the extraneous life pieces that go with all those things. Finding time to squeeze another person into that seemed near impossible.

Until I met Tim that is. I’ve already chronicled our first date and want to let you know that I will not be chronicling any more like that (phew, right?) but we’ve seen each other three times now in less than a week. Things look really promising, although it is still very early. At any rate, I am very much enjoying getting to know him, and finding the time to see him does not seem to be a big obstacle at all.

Yesterday I ran in a local road race. It was a 4.7 mile run (yes, and odd distance) and the longest I’d run in quite awhile. But it was a perfect fall day, and the course was through some well-maintained paths along a canal near where we live and it was beautiful and relaxing to run. I finished strong and it felt great the whole way. I’m hooked on the racing bug and am going to look for the next one soon! I had a sitter for the kids and it was really nice to get out and have some time for just me.

Passing the Chemistry Test

If you read yesterday’s post you already know that last night I had a date. A first date with a new guy.

I got to the restaurant and parked on the street outside. I was a teensy bit early (about 15 minutes) because my sitter had arrived and I was too nervous to hang around the house any longer. I figured I’d wait in my car till a few minutes before our agreed meeting time, since I was sure I was too early for him to already be there, and I didn’t want to wait inside by myself.

A few minutes later a car pulled over to park, and when the driver got out, I knew it was him. We’ll call him Tim. I watched him walk into the restaurant, waited a beat or two, and then went in myself. As much fun with talking and banter we’d been enjoying through email, Instant Messaging and the phone, I was concerned that once we met in person it would fall flat. I’m really funny about that. I’ve rejected otherwise perfect men because I just couldn’t imagine kissing them.

We greeted each other with a hug and went off to the “first date table” he had requested in arriving before me. It was off in the corner – the perfect place away from the noise to talk. He pulled out my chair for me and as he sat down he said, “I want you to know there is no reason for you to be nervous. I will be playing the part of nervous tonight.” How cute is that???

We ordered two wine flights – one red and one white, and two different orders of tapas. Neither of us had the stomach to eat much (nerves you know), but the food was excellent and the wine helped take the edge off. We had a most enjoyable time talking and laughing and enjoying finally being together in the same room.

Then we played a little game of Truth or Dare. This was something we had talked about beforehand – we’d play a hand or three of cards – poker, go fish, crazy eights, whatever -  and the winner would get to have the loser do a truth and a dare. Because of the tone some of our conversations had taken, these were already assumed to be a tad on the PG-13 side. I had mine all ready, but I was mostly hoping I would lose because I was too nervous to actually have him read or do them.

Well, I won, and as the winner I decided to read the ones he had prepared for me instead (winners make the rules after all!). His Truth was easy – it asked if I’d ever gone skinny dipping, how I liked it, and if I’d ever do it again. Yes, a lot, and yes! Then I opened his Dare. It made me blush to read it, but suffice to say, it was really just a very wordy version of the one I had prepared for him, so I gave him mine instead. Mine read, “Kiss me. Right here, right now.” He smiled as he read it, said, “Right here?”. I responded, “That’s what it says.” He got up, came over to my seat and bent down and kissed me so softly, so sweetly and with just a little passion thrown in there at the end. It was very nice, and very exciting. I hadn’t kissed anyone in way too long, so it was even better.

Once that tension barrier had been broken we relaxed even more and we continued enjoying our time together. We made plans to get together again (this Saturday!) and reluctantly left the restaurant since I had a teenage sitter with school the next day to relieve at home. He even offered to chip in for the sitter (which I declined) – is that nice or is that nice?

Chemistry? We got it. I’m really looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Plenty of Fish in the Sea…..

Tonight I am going on my first first date in just over a year.

I really, REALLY like this guy. We met online, and have emailed, IM’d and talked on the phone. We have seen photos of each other. The chemistry is there and I like him very much without even having officially met him yet.

I am hopeful that our in-person meeting (which is for drinks and tapas later tonight) will prove just as exciting and wonderful as the lead up has been. There may be plenty of fish out there, but you only need to bring home one.

Wish us luck!